-Previously in Wynonna Earp... -Wynonna and Officer Haught.
-They've been taken. -What do you mean, taken?
There's something very wrong deep inside of you.
-What was the last thing you saw? -Waverly smiling at me
-from her front porch. -You want my help?
You two need to earn it.
[grunting] -What happened to your shoulder?
Revenants are human. My boys are something more.
[screaming] -Nooo!
-Somebody lost their head. -Who are you?
I'm the last of the Seven. You're just like me. You're broken.
So what now?
♪♪ Why did love ♪
♪ Put a gun in my hand ♪
♪ Why did love ♪
♪ Put a gun in my hand ♪
♪ Was it for redemption ♪♪
[Doc] The thing about an Earp, they are survivors to the core. Quick to recover,
tenacious, committed to their cause.
Hey! Hey, stranger guy!
[Doc] The thing about this Earp is she is all these things,
with demons for miles.
Ah!
I'm free. I'm good.
She is also a distraction I cannot afford right now,
given there is a witch that needs to get dead.
Kyle...
-It's Pete. -Let me make it up to you.
[Doc] But what are friends for
if not to lend a rescuing hand maybe once in a while?
-Come on, just one more kiss. -Don't!
-Back all the way up, friend. -This is none of your business.
She ain't anybody's but her own.
You alright?
I'm going to be sick.
[exhalation]
I thought I'd feel different.
I thought I'd look different.
You near perished at the hands of a maniac.
I'm not talking about that.
The seven murderous spawns of Hell
that attacked the homestead and killed Willa are dead.
Well, you said you'd get them, and you got 'em.
But this spring, coiled so tight in me?
It's just as tight, Doc.
From my experience -and I've got some-
you release the rage,
you might find there's nothing left.
Worst fortune-cookie advice ever.
I hate this stupid curse.
What did Wyatt do to mess us all up so bad?
He always aimed to be a good man. It might be it didn't take.
In the end, it's men like me...
...often survive.
Then maybe it's better to be bad.
[grunting] -Shiiiit.
-I'm bored outta my tits. -Why in hell we need 20 of us
-to guard them witch's bones? -Yeah, what's she gonna do? Cast a scaredy spell?
[laughing] -Or a love potion.
Hey, maybe she got a magic wand
that'll make Taylor Swifty wanna get all up in my pants?
[laughing]
[Clootie laughing]
Oh, I've got a wand.
But it'll more likely make you shit your pants.
♪♪♪
Mommy's back, boys.
♪♪♪
♪♪ 'Cause I gave you all I've got to give ♪
♪ And no, that ain't no way to live ♪
♪ I told that devil ♪
♪ To take you back ♪
♪ I told that devil To take you back ♪♪
♪♪♪
[rock song]
Whoa! Wow!
This is not what I expected the cat to drag in.
You're not the only one who gets to be married to his job.
Married? Slow down. At best, it's just my girlfriend.
For the first time in ages
I woke up and knew exactly what I needed to do.
Wear tighter pants?
I nailed The Seven, Dolls.
I can just get the next seven, and the seven after that,
and one day they'll all be dead
-and we can party in Cancun. -With what?
'Cause word from Shorty's is that you drank the world dry
-of tequila last night. -You can try, but I dare you
to cockblock the drive I woke up with this morning.
What.
-A brain peeler? -Psychological assessment.
I was "assessed" plenty when I was a crazy teenager
who "dreamed" up demons.
Yeah, well, Head Office insists on it.
-Tell Head Office to suck it. -You tell them.
There's an Analyst waiting in the interview room.
Are you having trouble sleeping?
-I'll sleep when I'm dead. -Concentrating?
What? Kidding. No. No trouble.
Do you have an exaggerated startle response?
Only to shirtless men with man-boobs.
-Stay on course, Earp. -Have you ever mistaken
a human for a demon?
-Never. -Do you have disturbing
and repeated thoughts or flashbacks
of your abduction and near-death experience?
Nope.
Do you have disturbing and repeated thoughts or flashbacks
of killing supernatural creatures?
-No. -Do you have disturbing
and repeated thoughts or flashbacks of killing your father?
Why's she going off book?
Sometimes. I guess.
When was the last time you had sexual intercourse?
-I don't know what that has to do with anything. -The bomb
in the Bleaker Case was traced back to a young woman
who ran briefly with the Banditos.
You ran with the Banditos.
-Two people died. -Is there a question in there?
Would you consider yourself a murderer,
-Wynonna? [sighing]
[Wynonna] All you did was watch.
I couldn't burst in. It would've made you look even worse.
-You're supposed to be my goddamned friend. -Yeah, I'm your boss.
-You know what I mean. -We need to be careful, alright?
You're not even a real deputy, Earp, come on.
No. I'm just the one with the big-ass gun
-who sends the fiends of Hell to their deaths. -Technically,
it's not the gun that kills them, it's--
Oh my God!
You stupid government lackey...
...you left me in there with a bureaucratic sadist and I was alone and scared.
-You're not alone, Earp. -Or a murderer.
OK.
Just once, I want you to say it.
That you care about me.
Pussy.
[sighing] -Earp.
Fill the assessment.
You're suspended until further notice.
Badge.
Perfect.
Have fun with your girlfriend.
It's quite generous,
considering the condition of the building.
I'm seeing some fine print here.
-The usual, Waves. -Pete...
The usual,
please.
That states the buyer's intentions, which could include anything
-from rebuilding or remodeling-- -They want to tear it down?
There you go.
I heard about you and Champ, by the way.
He never treated you right, Waverly. I was thinking,
you know, any man in Purgatory would be lucky to have you.
-And I was also thinking-- -That you should find a gal
like me, only taller, right? So she can actually get up
in that custom-lifted tricked-out pickup
-of yours? -Yeah,
-exactly. -Move.
Ooh! Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.
Why do I even get out of bed?
A bed that I have every right to screw whoever I want in.
Don't even.
"Have fun with your girlfriend?"
What kind of stupid exit line was that?
Move!
Who's that?
Gus is getting an offer to buy the bar.
I know! She can't do that, can she, Wyn? I mean, she wouldn't, right, she couldn't--
She won't.
If that asshat's a real estate broker, then I'm an oil baron's labradoodle.
No one's taking the bar. No one is ever
taking anything from us again.
Turn around, shit brick.
Please, don't. I can give you money.
You want to get to me? You don't go through my family.
I don't even know you.
It doesn't matter how many of you
come after me. I will put you down
whether you make your peace or not.
[gun cocking]
Show me your brand.
[liquid trickling]
Sorry, I thought you were something--someone else.
You're crazy.
That's all the bones we have, boys.
And I'm afraid the one with the head wins.
I'm sorry, my love.
You will live in your brother. One is better than none.
[incantation]
No matter how you bring a child into this world,
it sucks the life out of you.
[gasping]
Drek.
[screaming]
[gasping] -Your face...
-Who... -I'm your...
...mother.
Mama.
-Brother. -It wasn't my fault.
A bad man made me do it. I had to choose.
-We will kill this man. -No!
I lost you once.
I won't have that happen again.
-Stop! -I'm sorry.
Your skin is young,
but it will toughen.
[screaming]
My magic is spent, but as soon as we cross the boundary,
I will fix this, baby, I promise.
OK, there isn't much time. We have to go.
Come.
I need you to be my big boy.
[whimpering] -Drek!
-Shh. [grunting]
Shh.
A new world awaits us.
And out there...
...we will be gods.
Then I tossed my badge and said, "Have fun with your girlfriend".
'Cause he loves work so much.
But it didn't really land, you know?
I do not. Lord, girl.
You need to blow off that steam.
This mindscrew of a bastard's calling me a murderer,
and the whole time Dolls is just... just watching,
-when he could've been-- -Rescuing you?
My dear,
I believe Dolls
abandoned that white stallion years ago.
I don't need a knight in shining armor.
I just... I need to know he's got my back.
I've learned a thing or two about Dolls, and I'll tell you this:
He is a hypocrite at best,
and a malicious manufacturer of falsehoods at worst.
Wynonna, you are shaking like a leaf.
I almost killed a guy today.
A real live red-blooded human.
It was an honest case of mistaken identity.
Sadly, in your current profession,
it is difficult for you to tell a revenant from one that is not.
It was more than that.
I wanted to kill something, Doc.
I wanted to stare down the barrel
of Peacemaker and just shoot.
Jesus, listen to me.
Maybe I am crazy.
You just got the itch.
It is a thing rarely articulated,
but there is a power in taking the life of someone else,
and it is unequalled by anything else in this world.
It is a dangerous drug.
[sighing]
I guess I'd rather chase the dragon
-than be a pathetic victim. -Oh, you were never that.
-Then what am I? -Well, you're Wynonna Earp.
Now, I am not sure this is the best idea.
You're the one who told me I should blow off steam.
My vast wisdom is a burden.
[whimpering] -Oh!
Is it bad?
Well, considering the bullet went through Clootie and not me,
I guess not.
When she gave you almost-immortality,
you became joined. By unnatural forces.
Oh, there are natural forces at work here.
And right now,
I am far more interested in them.
"Unnatural." "Otherworldly."
"Potential Jack The Ripper." Really, Nicole? I like a joke
as much as the next guy,
-but I don't have time for this. -It wasn't easy
to write any of that down, but it is what I experienced.
I swear.
Look.
I know you've had a hell of a time. You wanna take a day or two,
-I understand. -This isn't about getting kidnapped.
It's not just that. Sheriff, come on,
you gotta admit this place is weird.
It's a small town, Nicole.
It's quirky.
It's called Purgatory, for chrissake.
Look...
...if you think it's anything more than that,
you might as well put in your resignation.
I don't want to resign. I like it here.
Good.
I'll redo the report.
Door.
[mysterious music]
Whoa!
Where's the hold-up? 'Cause you're a cop.
Right. Sorry.
-Um, can we talk? -Y-yeah. Yeah.
God, we're totally overdue.
OK. I'm not... I'm not crazy, right?
-There's something going on here. -No. You're not crazy.
-OK. -I'm not sure
I'm really ready to... get into it.
Why?
Because it's different for me, right?
And it's... it's really personal.
But it's personal
for everybody, right? I mean, they must know.
People must whisper about it.
My God, I hope not! No, I...
I kind of only just discovered it.
-When I met you. -Me?
Yeah.
You're kinda special.
OK, uh...
Maybe a little bit more open- minded, but it's not like I have some mystical gift
-or something. -No, I get it.
You're a lesbian, not a unicorn, right?
-What? -What?
-You're making fun of me. -No.
Sorry. Don't you want to talk?
I want the truth.
Ugh...
I think I'd do better with a unicorn.
[dramatic music]
Shit.
No way but out.
[growling]
Stay in the car, baby.
[growling]
Look at you all.
Roadkill without the "killed" part.
Constance,
you put holes in a few of my boys here.
Tell me about it. They really messed up my shoes.
Yet Peeper here has done you a solid.
Now, I don't know the legal term
-you might but I believe it's somewhere in the vicinity
of... "reckless abandonment."
Bad mommy.
[banging on trunk]
Peeper.
You don't want to do that.
Holy shit.
Baby, I told you
to stay in the car.
I see he's got his father's looks.
I'm done with this place.
-That wasn't the deal. -You lied to me, Bobo.
-There's still time. -Not for me.
-Then give me the Lead. [grunting]
Out of all the chances I have given you,
you have one chance left.
[gun cocking]
What are you gonna do with it?
I don't have it.
-What? -All I know is,
it's still somewhere
in the triangle.
[piercing roar]
-Muzzle that thing now! -I can't.
You told me the skeletons were almost complete.
-So we're even. -Oh, we will be.
[piercing roar] -Gimme that thing.
Move it.
Bobo.
I can't do it.
[roaring]
Nooooo!
Noooo!
No! No!
[whimpering]
What is it?
Are you in pain?
And it's beautiful. The Witch.
I can feel her, and she has never been in such agony.
-What can I do? -You can help me.
If I can feel her, I can find her.
And then I can kill her.
[whimpering]
Whatever's got their claw
-in her-- -Could be waiting
to get their claws in us.
We got to think clearly. This could be a trap.
Trap or no trap, she will die at my hands today.
If you kill her, you'll die too.
-Doc, you're not really planning-- -Wynonna,
my plan is the same as it was the day I crawled out of that well.
It is a simple plan. It is a exceptional plan:
Kill the witch.
-I won't let you. [phone ringing]
[sighing]
OK.
I have a plan.
And we will get the Stone Witch, I promise, but--
Doc? Shit!
You've been fighting with that coffeepot for twenty minutes and losing. Come.
That's my mug, Nedley.
Nedley, that's my mug!
Close the door. Sit down.
Or not.
-Nedley-- -Randy.
You drink my hooch, you call me Randy.
Xavier.
Oh, well, we'll just stick to what we know, then.
You ever notice that we get some pretty high winds here
in Purgatory?
You ever notice that weathervane in the town square always points West?
Took it down, oiled it myself. Works fine, any direction.
But a high wind comes up, always points West.
Look, if you're leading up to something, now's a good time
-to get there. -Well, any given day,
Purgatory is like an ER on a full moon. But you know that...
...because I think you came here to investigate the paranormal.
Don't deny it. Guessed it a while back,
-decided to keep it under my hat. -Smart man.
And why don't you keep it there?
Look, whatever's going on in this county nearly got
our only deputies killed, and I don't know about you,
but if I lose mine, I gotta go deputize some fool like Champ Hardy.
[chuckling]
Yeah, that would be a scary day in Purgatory, huh?
-What's all that? -Well, that's a little on the trailer park.
A little on Bobo Del Rey's enterprises.
I've been keeping my eyes and ears open.
He's got some powerful friends in town. I happen to know a few of them.
You know what I do is classified.
But if you have any information--
Underneath the multiple layers of asshole,
you seem like a good man. I know that.
-Then sometimes, you're gonna have to trust me. -I do that,
maybe we can start working together. Case by case basis.
Definitely maybe.
Happy hour's starting.
You want to wander over to Shorty's with me?
-I don't drink-- -At four o'clock. I know. Neither do I.
But sometimes learning things is just a matter of blending in.
Come on there, "Xavier,"
it's time you became one of the people.
Waverly, what are you doing?
Being alone. I wanna be alone.
Alright, well, you've reached the edge of town,
so any further out and you're gonna freeze to death.
-Just get in the car. -No, thank you.
I've got a taser. Don't you make me use it.
OK, so, I'll start.
I'm sorry for being such an asshole before.
First you wanna talk, then you don't wanna talk,
-then you tell me to talk-- -OK,
well, maybe we should figure out what exactly it is we're talking about.
Gus is selling Shorty's. She acts like she won't, but she is.
And everything is changing around me, but it's all too fast, you know,
and it's like nobody ever asks me if I'm okay with it.
Like, could everybody just stand still
-for one frickin' minute? [sighing]
Hey...
It's gonna be okay.
I just screamed at you. You shouldn't be nice to me.
You know, I think you've just been dating too many shitheads.
We're not dating.
I know.
God, Waverly,
-I would never ask you to be someone you're not. -Good.
Just don't ask me to be anyone.
-Fine. -Fine.
Well, maybe just friends.
Yeah, sure, Waverly. Whatever you want.
[crackling]
[Doc] Constance Clootie.
What kind of a mess have you gotten yourself into now?
Help me.
Get me across the line,
and I'll give you anything you want.
Power. Riches.
A girl. Any girl.
Step into a new life with me.
She's an old-school temptress, ain't she?
Or just another washed-up whore.
-You lured me, you sow. -No! No!
He's tricking you!
Holliday...
...you never disappoint.
I was gonna leave her
and her smoldering spawn here, but then I saw her pain
speak to you and, well, I'm just a sucker for a reunion.
-Well, me too. -No.
You're just a sucker.
[Wynonna] Says the unarmed revenant.
In a coat Lady Gaga deemed 'maybe too much'.
Wynonna, girl, you are less cut open
than I thought you'd be,
given your... dance with Jack.
No more speeches.
Just you, me and a gun.
Make your Peace.
You cock that Buntline,
and I will blow it out of your lily white hand faster than a fly can blink.
If you shoot,
this all goes to shit.
Dolls and Nedley are in the hills with a sniper rifle.
Your poker face is pitiful.
Now put that gun back in your pants.
Well, someone's gun's already been down there.
Lovers' quarrel?
Weapons away, boys. There's a...
lady present. You too, Doc.
Bobo Del Rey.
Now did you or did you not vow
to deliver me the witch?
That was before your betrayed me.
Now, now. You have made similar assurances
to individuals here who have done much worse.
You've made promises of glory.
Promises of escape.
Now, if you were to renege on one gentleman's agreement...
...well, who is to believe
that you would guarantee
fulfillment of another?
It ain't that simple.
Oh, but it was,
in the time from which we all hail from.
When a man's word was all that he had.
Alright.
I may have played with her a little. Broken her spirit.
But she's all yours, Doc.
As pledged.
Now, you see, that proves I keep my promises.
Well, then I am satisfied.
So long as my women and I have safe passage.
Go.
[cell phone ringing]
-Your women? -Shut up, Wynonna.
Keep movin'.
Round 'er up, boys.
Well, I hate to gift and run, but I got another deal pending.
As for her,
screw her, torture her.
She's a screamer either way.
Wynonna Earp...
...I have a very special surprise for you.
♪♪♪
Thank you much.
Need anything else, let me know, OK?
Now what?
Now we drink coffee. Observe.
Socialize. Jerry, how you doin'?
So you just did it? You just went ahead and sold it.
Decisions had to be made.
I know you don't believe me, but you were not born
-to be a goddamn small town waitress. -Yeah, I believe you,
but I have, like, three shirts that say Shorty's.
Honey, it's in the agreement.
Shorty's will never get torn down. You can work here
in as many shirts as you want for as long as you want.
-That's not the point-- -But, when you decide
you're ready to unstick those wings of yours...
Don't cash it for a week or so.
-What's this? -It's freedom, honey.
You've been doing what others want you to do for so long.
Now you can do whatever it is you want.
Which is what?
Live your life.
Remember:
some of the best things in life are the surprises it throws us.
About what we want.
Who we want.
You've always been an honest kid.
Don't stop now.
[dramatic music]
Hey.
I got a message for Wynonna Earp.
She's not here.
I can wait.
[scream]
Doc.
[incantation]
-Sorry, no speak evil. -I wasn't talking to you.
Then who were you talking-Shit!
[incantation]
Honey,
you don't bring table salt to a witch fight.
-What is that? -A gift from The Blacksmith.
Gallows Silk. Soaked in the blood
of this pitiful creature, rendering her power futile.
-NOOOO! -Three months.
One hundred and thirty years.
Retribution does not come quick, but it will be glorious.
I had a clean shot at Bobo.
You would have been dead before you pulled the trigger.
Bobo and I had a deal.
Who won't you make a deal with, huh?
First a witch, then the Devil himself.
You're nothing like--
You're just nothing.
You can judge me all you want. What do I care
for some broken woman's evaluation of my character?
[giggling]
Look at all this history
repeating itself.
-How many Earps can you fail in one lifetime? -Talk all you want.
They are last words anyway.
I know why you were cursed, and how.
I'll tell you if you keep me alive.
-She's lying. -Could be.
Or could be I'm about to make a deal.
-She's stalling. -Don't you wanna know this too?
Tell me about the Earp Curse.
The details are hazy,
as that was my demon husband.
Revenge for the death of our boys.
Direct and manly
and, quite frankly, boring.
-Not the first word I'd use. -Us girls like to take vindictiveness
to the next level, don't we, Wynonna?
And I wanted my own revenge on Wyatt,
so I went after what Wyatt loved most.
His best friend.
You're a liar.
I threw out a few juicy morsels
like "health" and "longevity,"
and you were mine.
-You tricked me. -When Wyatt found you buried
in a whore's muff instead of underground, when he learned
of our deal,
his heart broke in two.
Then I threw you down a well,
so that even if Wyatt softened,
came looking for you...
-Did he? -And you got to spend
decades in the dark,
knowing your best friend despised you.
John Henry.
This whole time, you thought it was personal,
but it's always been about the alpha dog.
You shut your lyin' mouth.
You're a good sidekick,
dear "Doc," but you'll never be a hero.
A perpetual second choice.
But in the end, everyone chooses the lawman.
Everyone.
-I'm going to kill you. -You gave me your word he wouldn't.
If you kill her, you kill yourself.
Then you'll be the last person I disappoint.
But this inhuman creature must be made to pay.
Hey, take revenge now, and it's over.
But that coil inside
stays just as tight, Doc.
What if her suffering wasn't just a gunshot away?
What if you could make it last?
You got a better idea?
Yeah, actually, I do.
You can claw your veins out,
it won't come off. Mattie told me.
Stupid white witch healer whore.
What are we doing here, Wynonna? What is this stuff?
Taste it.
-Salt. -No!
-No! -Fields and fields of the beautiful stuff,
just waiting to snuff out a witch's powers.
Wait, wait! I can...
I can help you get to Bobo.
I know his secrets. I'll work for you.
I'll be your slave.
-Listen to me! -You dig.
Wait a second. If I bury the witch, what happens to me?
You dig. I bury her.
Loopholes
-are a beautiful thing. -My dear,
you do like to make me sweat.
-Hey, Nedley out for dinner? -You mean happy hour at Shorty's?
-Yeah. -Same time every day. Like clockwork.
Hey.
Wave!
-Hey! -Excuse me.
What is your problem? You--
What happened to friends?
You know what I've always wanted?
What?
To parachute out of a plane at fifteen thousand feet.
Yeah. To swim far, far out into the ocean
so that I can't see the bottom anymore. To eat geoduck.
-Isn't it the one that kinda looks like a p-- -Yeah, it is. Point is,
I've always wanted to do things that scared me. But, well,
it's not so easy to be brazen...
...when the thing that you want,
that scares you to death,
is sitting right in front of you.
I scare you?
Yes. Yes, you do. Because I don't wanna be friends.
When I think about what I wanna do most in this world...
...it's you.
Oh God, that sounded so much more romantic in my head.
Just jump in any time, Nicole,
because I really, really don't know how to do this.
Oh, sure you do.
Maybe I should just stop talking.
See,
you're getting better at this already.
Maybe you should stop talking too.
Maybe you should make me.
[laughing] -Sorry.
I just... I told him I had it.
And then he went
and he collected all the bones,
but I lost the Lead.
Constance, you gotta watch the tears. This mascara
is clearly not waterproof, and it's not like you can touch it up yourself.
Now what is this damn lead?
It's the one thing he'll never stop searching for.
The one thing he needs.
For what?
To escape the Ghost River Triangle. The Curse.
And you, Wynonna Earp.
You and your promise of death.
Dry your tears, witch.
With this amount of salt keeping you, you'll be pickled in no time.
Wait! Don't...
don't leave me!
No, no, wait!
I don't want to be left alone!
I owe you a heap of thanks. And my life.
Well, keep your life, Doc. I'd only mess it up.
Can I at least buy you a drink?
[cell phone ringing]
I gotta get back.
I thought the Deputy Marshal was no longer in your good graces.
Rain check on the drink?
Later, at home. You, me,
and a forty of something delicious.
You sure no one is gonna find her out here?
She'll be alone forever.
[Constance] I don't want to be alone!
Come back!
-Come back! -A sad fate indeed.
COME BACK!
[screaming]
You passed the second assessment
-with flying colors. -I didn't take a--
Sure, you did.
Early this afternoon. Don't you remember?
I mean, you had three energy drinks and you swore like a truck driver,
but yeah, you passed.
-That sure sounds like me. -There you go.
But this does not sound like you.
Say something Dolls would say.
You're a good deputy, Earp.
[Dolls makes a popping sound.]
No, that's not it.
I'm not good at apologies or--
-Feelings. -Come on.
I got you a gift.
Aw, Dolls.
You really do care.
Out of everyone,
Bobo chose me to bring you his message.
Then I'm going to kill you. He knows that, right?
It's my honor to serve him.
It's worth dying, to see the look on your face.
-What look? -The message from Bobo to you is this:
Bobo bought Shorty's.
Ha, ha, ha! See?
That's the look right there.
Ha, ha, ha! It's freakin' great!
It's ours now, my fellow deviants and degenerates.
And what it holds will aid
in our eternal salvation!
And Wynonna Earp's...
...final damnation.
[cheering and whooping]
[cheering]