PREVIOUSLY ON PRETTY LITTLE LIARS...
NOEL KAHN IS "A."
NOEL.
"I SEE YOU." IT MEANS SOMEBODY SAW US LAST NIGHT.
IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING.
THE BANK LOAN CAME THROUGH.
IN A LASAGNA BOX?
IT IS A LOAN. UNAUTHORIZED.
I'M GAY.
THIS IS COMPLETELY WRONG, AND YOU KNOW IT.
SHE IS STRUGGLING WITH THIS. I CAN SEE IT.
I KNOW YOU WANT TO KISS ME.
IS THERE, UH, ANYTHING YOU CAN TELL ME ABOUT WHAT YOU SEE?
I THINK SHE'S TALKING TO THE OLDER BOY.
SO-CALLED, UH, MYSTERY BOYFRIEND?
"ALISON LOVES IAN"?
WE'RE MARRIED. ( both laugh )
YOU'RE WHAT?
ISN'T HILTON HEAD IN SOUTH CAROLINA?
I THOUGHT YOUR GRANDMA LIVED IN GEORGIA.
IT'S STILL THE SOUTH, SPENCE.
WHY SO MANY QUESTIONS?
HE'S GOT A LOT OF STUFF, IAN.
( chuckles softly )
YEAH. SUDDENLY HE'S, UH, EVERYWHERE.
( indistinct whispers )
( stair creaks )
IS SOMEONE THERE?
MELISSA, NO ONE COULD HAVE HEARD US.
( computer beeping )
The Pierces: ¶ GOT A SECRET ¶
¶ CAN YOU KEEP IT? ¶
¶ SWEAR THIS ONE YOU'LL SAVE ¶
¶ BETTER LOCK IT IN YOUR POCKET ¶
¶ TAKING THIS ONE TO THE GRAVE ¶
¶ IF I SHOW YOU THEN I KNOW YOU ¶
¶ WON'T TELL WHAT I SAID ¶
¶ 'CAUSE TWO CAN KEEP A SECRET ¶
¶ IF ONE OF THEM IS DEAD ¶
'MORNING.
YOU OKAY? YOU SEEM A LITTLE JUMPY.
YEAH. YOU SURPRISED ME, THAT'S ALL.
I JUST DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE BACK.
YEAH, WE DIDN'T-- WE DIDN'T WAKE YOU LAST NIGHT?
I MEAN, YOU DIDN'T HEAR US?
NO. LIKE I SAID, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE BACK.
SO, IS THIS ALL GOING IN THE BARN?
HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR SISTER'S WARDROBE?
NO, THE MOVERS ARE COMING ON FRIDAY.
WE'RE GOING TO MOVE IT TO OUR PLACE IN PHILLY.
OH.
LISTEN, SPENCE, UM...
I KNOW OUR DECISION TO GET MARRIED WAS SUDDEN,
AND... YEAH, I GET THAT IT'S THROWN YOU,
BUT... YOU KNOW, WE'RE FAMILY NOW.
I HOPE YOU START THINKING OF ME LIKE THAT.
SO, HOW WAS THE HONEYMOON?
OH, IT'S PERFECT.
NO GOLF FOR THE NEWLYWEDS?
WELL, YOU KNOW, WE SPENT MOST OF OUR TIME INDOORS.
H-HAVE YOU EVER PLAYED HERE?
WHAT, HILTON HEAD? YEAH.
ALISON WENT TO A TOURNAMENT THERE WITH HER GRANDMOTHER.
REALLY?
UH-HUH. SHE DISAPPEARED THE NIGHT SHE GOT HOME.
IS IT A NICE COURSE?
UH, YEAH, FROM WHAT I REMEMBER,
BUT IT WAS YEARS AGO.
( sizzling )
'MORNING.
AH. GOOD MORNING.
OKAY, GO AHEAD, YOU CAN SAY IT OUT LOUD--
"DAD HAS GOTTEN THE HANG OF THIS SINGLE PARENT THING."
IT LOOKS GOOD.
YEAH.
DID YOU SEE MOM LAST NIGHT?
UM... YES, I DID.
HOW'D IT GO?
WELL...
WHAT I THOUGHT WAS GOING TO BE A DATE WITH YOUR MOM
TURNED INTO YOUR MOM TELLING ME THAT SHE'S DATING... OTHER PEOPLE.
WHAT?
AND YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT?
IT'S NOT REALLY MY PLACE TO TELL HER THAT SHE CAN'T.
THAT'S JUST SO YOU, DAD.
YOU LIE AND CHEAT,
BUT YOU DRAW THE LINE AT HYPOCRISY.
YOU'RE SUCH A ROLE MODEL. MIKE!
( door slams )
( Southern accent ) HI. I'M PLANNIN' A SURPRISE VISIT
FOR MY HUSBAND, AND HE CANNOT STOP TALKIN'
ABOUT THE ROOM HE HAD ON HIS LAST VISIT.
CAN YOU PULL UP THAT RESERVATION?
HIS NAME IS IAN THOMAS.
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?
I THINK IAN AND ALISON WERE TOGETHER
THE WEEKEND BEFORE SHE DISAPPEARED.
DO YOU REMEMBER HOW ALISON WAS ACTING
WHEN SHE GOT HOME FROM VISITING HER GRANDMOTHER?
ALL GIGGLES AND TAN?
YEAH.
ALIE HATED OLD PEOPLE,
AND ALIE'S GRANDMOTHER LIVES IN GEORGIA.
HILTON HEAD IS IN SOUTH CAROLINA. SHE WAS LYING TO US.
SO WHAT?
ALISON LIED MORE THAN SHE BREATHED.
YOU THINK THAT WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE IAN WANT TO
PERMANENTLY SHUT HER UP?
WOW. I THOUGHT YOU'D BE HAPPY TO HEAR IT WAS ANYBODY BUT TOBY.
ALL TOBY WANTED WAS FOR ME TO BELIEVE HIM,
AND I DIDN'T.
TOBY LIED ABOUT A LOT OF THINGS TOO, EM.
IF LYING WAS A CRIME, WE WOULD ALL BE IN JAIL.
AGENT COOPER. GOOD MORNING.
HI.
BEAUTIFUL DAY, HUH?
THANKS FOR DRIVING ME.
HANNA, I'M YOUR MOTHER. SINCE WHEN DO YOU THANK ME FOR TAKING YOU ANYWHERE?
I FEEL GUILTY, OKAY?
AND I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT THE MONEY.
I'D FEEL BETTER IF YOU'D YELL AT ME.
( mirthless chuckle )
WELL, IF I THOUGHT IT WOULD BRING BACK THE CASH.
SO, ARE WE TOTALLY BROKE AGAIN?
NOT TOTALLY. NO.
THANK YOU, GOD, I ALREADY USED SOME OF THE MONEY
TO GET US OUT OF DEBT.
THE PLAN WAS TO INVEST THE REST
SO I COULD REPLACE IT ALL
BEFORE ANYONE REALIZED IT WAS GONE.
WELL, IF THE BANK FINDS OUT ABOUT YOUR UNAUTHORIZED LOAN,
THAT'S... IT'S LIKE A FELONY, RIGHT?
IT'S ONLY A FELONY IF THEY FIND OUT.
LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE TRADED IN HER WHEELS FOR HEELS.
THEY'RE FLATS, BUT THEY ARE FERRAGAMOS.
THANK YOU.
Agent Cooper: THE FOOD IN THIS TOWN IS TO DIE FOR.
I'M MISSING IT ALREADY.
ARE YOU GOING SOMEWHERE?
CAME HERE TO FIND THE PERSON THAT KILLED YOUR FRIEND.
TOBY CAVANAUGH MAY BE OUT ON BAIL,
BUT HE'S NOT LEAVING TOWN, AND WE HAVE A SOLID CASE AGAINST HIM.
SO, UNLESS YOU HAVE A REASON FOR ME TO STAY...
WELL, I GUESS WE'LL SEE YOU AROUND, THEN.
YOU GIRLS TAKE CARE.
BYE.
What?
Ian was definitely at Hilton Head
the same weekend Alie was.
Maybe we do have a reason for Cooper to stay.
AGENT COOPER IS NOT SOME SMALL-TOWN COP
THAT'S GOING TO ARREST SPENCER'S BROTHER-IN-LAW
BECAUSE ALIE CARVED HIS NAME INTO A TREE.
YEAH, A TREE THAT'S NO LONGER THERE.
NO ONE KNOWS THAT BUT US. AND IAN.
AND "A."
( inaudible )
NOEL LED US TO THAT TREE FOR A REASON.
IS "A"...
I MEAN, IS NOEL TRYING TO HELP US FIND ALIE'S KILLER?
"A" HELPING US?
WOW, THAT'S A FIRST.
HOW COULD NOEL EVEN KNOW ABOUT IAN AND ALIE?
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HOW NOEL IS ALWAYS AROUND?
ARE THEY FRIENDS?
NO.
HANNA'S RIGHT ABOUT COOPER.
WE NEED TO FIND SOME KIND OF PROOF.
THANK YOU, VERONICA MARS.
THAT PROOF MAY BE BOXED IN YOUR KITCHEN.
HI.
HEY.
ARE WE STILL ON TILL LATER?
YOU KNOW, NOW THAT YOUR DAD'S GONE?
YEAH, MY DAD KNOWS HOW MY DAD FEELS ABOUT US.
IN OTHER WORDS, HE'LL TOLERATE ME.
SHE'S SPENDING THE DAY IN THE CITY,
SO YOU'LL BE SAFE, I PROMISE.
WHAT'S LATER?
UM, STUDYING.
IS THAT GIRL-ON-GIRL CODE FOR ROMANCE?
NO, HANNA, WE'RE ACTUALLY STUDYING.
BUT YOUR FRIEND IS A ROMANTIC.
IS SHE?
OH, YEAH. UM... WALKS IN THE RAIN,
PICNICS BY THE LAKE, DANCING NAKED IN CANDLELIGHT.
( laughing ) I'M JUST KIDDING.
WE GO TO DINNER AND A MOVIE, JUST LIKE YOU GUYS.
WELL, SHE'S NOT ENTIRELY KIDDING.
EMILY WOULD LOVE TO DO ALL OF THOSE THINGS.
OKAY, YOU'VE SHARED ENOUGH.
NICE VEST.
THIS IS YOUR TEACHER LOOK, RIGHT?
I'M AN OBSERVANT GUY. I SEE THINGS OTHER PEOPLE MAY NOT NOTICE.
YOUR POINT IS?
ARIA TOLD ME THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE MISUNDERSTOOD
OUR PREVIOUS CONVERSATION, ABOUT MY DISAPPOINTING GRADE.
IT'S SWEET HOW CLOSE YOU TWO ARE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
I WANT TO MAKE THIS EASY FOR YOU.
THIS IS A BRAND-NEW PAPER,
AND, TRUST ME, IT'S WORTHY OF AN "A."
YEAH, THIS IS THE SAME ESSAY.
YOU JUST REPRINTED IT.
WELL, LAST TIME WE TALKED, I WANTED THE "A."
THIS TIME I NEED IT,
OR I DON'T GET TO SUIT UP FOR FRIDAY'S GAME.
IT'S A FEW STROKES OF A PEN. WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU?
IF YOU HAVE TO ASK THE QUESTION,
YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND MY ANSWER.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, KAHN?
I WAS LOOKING FOR ARIA MONTGOMERY.
SHE'S GOT FIRST PERIOD HERE, RIGHT?
SO, ARE YOU TWO STILL HOOKING UP?
THE THING ABOUT ARIA IS, SHE'S WAY INTO OLDER GUYS.
GIVE ME THE PAPER. I CAN REREAD IT TODAY.
I KNEW YOU'D DO THE RIGHT THING.
Aria: HEY.
HEY!
DO YOU WANT TO GRAB A COFFEE AFTER SCHOOL?
I COULD USE A STUDY BUDDY.
I WOULD, BUT I HAVE PHYSICAL THERAPY.
HEY, I JUST HEARD THAT TOBY'S HERE.
WOULD THEY LET HIM COME BACK TO SCHOOL?
Boy: HEY, FREAK COMING THROUGH!
Man: BACK OFF. GET TO CLASS.
STEP BACK.
MURDERER.
STEP ASIDE, PLEASE.
LET'S GO.
( chuckling )
¶ WE WERE GONNA DRIVE ACROSS THE COUNTRY ¶
¶ LIVE IN SPAIN ¶
¶ OR ITALY ¶
¶ WE WERE GONNA CLIMB... ¶
OINK-OINK.
¶ TO THE TOP OF THE EIFFEL TOWER ¶
¶ STAY UP ALL NIGHT ¶
¶ FOR THE METEOR SHOWER ¶
¶ BUT WE ARE STILL YOUNG ENOUGH ¶
¶ AND WE'VE STILL GOT TIME ¶
( doorbell rings )
¶ IT'S NOT TOO LATE ¶
I UNDERSTAND.
POOR HANNA.
¶ AND SWIM WITH SHARKS ¶
¶ MEMORIZE THE PATTERN ¶
¶ OF THE STARS ¶ YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY.
I CAN SHOW YOU HOW TO GET RID OF IT.
¶ WE WERE GONNA FALL IN LOVE ¶
¶ REALIZE SOMETIMES ¶
¶ IT'S NOT ENOUGH ¶
¶ WE ARE STILL YOUNG ENOUGH ¶
¶ WE'VE STILL GOT TIME ¶
( laughter )
DO YOU LIKE THAT? THAT'S NOT FAIR.
( laughter continues )
EMILY!
MOM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I WON'T LIVE LIKE THIS.
LIKE WHAT? I-I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA BE OUT.
AND THAT GIVES YOU PERMISSION...?
I-I CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE WHERE THIS WAS HEADED.
PAM, I PROMISE WE WERE STUDYING. THAT'S ALL.
MRS. FIELDS. I AM MRS. FIELDS TO YOU.
I THINK I SHOULD GO.
I'M SO SORRY, MAYA.
IT'S OKAY. YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.
FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE,
I AM ASHAMED THAT YOU'RE MY MOTHER.
HANNA?
HEY, ARE YOU OKAY?
Boy: OINK-OINK.
DON'T YOU GUYS HAVE PRACTICE, OR DID YOU LOSE YOUR BALLS?
I THOUGHT YOU HAD PHYSICAL THERAPY.
I LIED.
DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT?
( chuckles ) I WISH I COULD.
I REALLY HATE "A."
HE HAS SOMETHING ON MY MOM THAT CAN GET HER INTO A LOT OF TROUBLE.
WHAT DOES HE WANT YOU TO DO?
REMEMBER WHEN I USED TO EAT
WHEN I GOT NERVOUS OR FELT BAD?
ALISON...
WALKED IN ON ME AFTER A BINGE, AND...
SHE WAS ACTUALLY KIND.
OR SO I THOUGHT.
SHE HELPED ME THROW UP.
HANNA...
THAT'S SO DANGEROUS.
I KNOW, AND...
THAT WAS JUST SUCH A LOW POINT IN MY LIFE THAT...
I STARTED TAKING BETTER CARE OF MYSELF.
I KNEW I COULD BE STRONGER THAN THAT.
YEAH, AND YOU ARE.
( sighs )
HE IS SUCH A BITCH.
( disgusted sigh )
HEY. YOU OKAY?
YEAH. I'M OKAY.
DID YOU TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT MY PAPER?
YES.
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
IT'S THE GRADE YOU EARNED.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
HEY, I'M TALKING TO YOU!
I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT MEANS.
Woman: OH, MY GOSH, THIS IS AMAZING!
( indistinct conversation )
WHY DON'T YOU SAVE US THE COST OF A TRIAL AND DROP DEAD!
ICE CREAM IS SO GOOD.
¶ YOUR HEART GAVE UP THE FIGHT ¶
¶ DOWN, DOWN, DOWN ¶
¶ PLEASE DON'T TAKE HER ¶
¶ MY BREAD ALL WINTER ¶
¶ I'M GONE ¶
¶ LIKE THE LOVERS ¶
¶ GONE ¶
¶ LIKE THE LIARS ¶
¶ GONE ¶
¶ IS MY ACHIN' ¶
¶ GONE ¶
¶ IS MY LOVE ¶
¶ GONE ¶
WE NEED TO TALK.
YOUR FRIEND LEFT HER BACKPACK HERE.
I RETURNED IT TO HER PARENTS.
ARE YOU DOING DRUGS WITH HER? IS THAT WHAT THIS WHOLE THING IS ABOUT?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
ARE YOU STONED? NO!
LOOK, HONEY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH HER BEING A GIRL.
IF IT WERE A BOY... YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GONE THROUGH HIS THINGS.
ARE YOU LYING TO YOURSELF OR ME?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE ANYMORE!
YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT!
YOU'RE NO LONGER ALLOWED TO SEE HER.
YOU CAN'T DO THAT.
WATCH ME.
THIS DOESN'T CHANGE THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT HER!
DON'T BOTHER CALLING YOUR FATHER.
HE'S AS DISAPPOINTED IN YOU AS I AM.
HEY, DINNER'S ALMOST READY. I'M NOT HUNGRY.
( cell phone rings )
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN. I'VE GOT TO TAKE THIS CALL,
BUT THEN WE ARE ALL SITTING DOWN AT THIS TABLE
AND HAVING DINNER AS A FAMILY.
SO WHAT WERE YOU AND NOEL KAHN TALKING ABOUT TODAY?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
I SAW YOU WITH HIM AT SCHOOL THIS MORNING.
YEAH. SO?
SO ARE YOU GUYS, LIKE, FRIENDS NOW OR SOMETHING?
WE HANG OUT A LITTLE.
SINCE WHEN?
I DON'T KNOW.
A WHILE. WHY?
HAS HE ASKED YOU ANYTHING ABOUT ME?
ABOUT MOM AND DAD? HAVE YOU TOLD HIM ANYTHING?
UH... LIKE WHAT?
LOOK, NOEL, HE'S NOT WHO YOU THINK HE IS.
OKAY, HE'S NOT YOUR FRIEND.
JEALOUS MUCH?
STUPID MUCH?
I'M SERIOUS, MIKE. ARIA, IT WAS NOTHING.
JUST TELLING ME ABOUT SOME STUPID RUMOR HE HAD HEARD.
WHAT-- WHAT KIND OF RUMOR?
WELL, SUPPOSABLY, UM, THE ENGLISH TEACHER--
YOU KNOW, THE ONE THAT YOU THINK IS SO GREAT?--
IS HAVING A THING WITH ONE OF HIS STUDENTS.
THAT'S NOT FUNNY, MIKE.
ACCUSATIONS LIKE THAT CAN RUIN SOMEONE'S LIFE.
I'M NOT MAKING A JOKE.
NOEL SWEARS THAT HE SAW THEM TOGETHER,
AND HE FEELS TERRIBLE FOR THE GIRL, BUT...
YOU KNOW, TOMORROW HE'S GONNA TELL THE PRINCIPAL.
ARIA...
HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?
DAD...
I'VE TOTALLY SCREWED UP.
I PROMISED SPENCER THAT I'D STUDY AT HER PLACE TONIGHT.
WE'VE GOT THIS HUGE MIDTERM TOMORROW.
SHE'S TOTALLY GONNA KILL ME.
( door opens, closes )
SO, ARE WE GONNA EAT, OR WHAT?
( knocking on door )
WHAT HAPPENED TODAY?
IT'S OVER, ARIA.
THE HIDING, THE SNEAKING AROUND.
IT-- IT'S OVER.
WAIT, EZRA.
NO, COME ON, YOU-- YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.
WHAT YOU AND I HAVE...
IS THE MOST REAL AND HONEST THING IN MY LIFE.
AND THAT'S SOMETHING I HOPE YOU REMEMBER.
NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS TOMORROW, THAT WON'T CHANGE.
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME.
I'M NOT GONNA CHANGE NOEL'S GRADE,
AND I WILL NOT LET HIM HURT YOU.
IF I RESIGN TOMORROW AND GET THE HELL OUT OF ROSEWOOD,
HE'LL HAVE NO REASON TO TELL ANYBODY ABOUT US.
HEY, EVEN THOUGH THIS DOESN'T LOOK RIGHT,
IT HAS ALWAYS FELT RIGHT,
AND I WILL NOT LET HIM CHANGE THIS INTO SOMETHING THAT FEELS WRONG.
I JUST CAN'T.
CAN'T.
I LOVE YOU.
READY FOR MIDTERMS?
NOT YET.
MAYBE YOU CAN TAKE A BREAK TOMORROW NIGHT.
IAN AND I ARE TREATING MOM AND DAD TO DINNER.
I'D LIKE IT IF YOU CAME.
YEAH, I'LL TRY, BUT...
DO YOU NEED HELP?
OH.
AN OVULATION KIT?
YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT.
BUT I DID.
CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?
OF COURSE. I MEAN IT.
THIS IS NOT SOMETHING I'M PREPARED TO TELL MOM AND DAD.
OKAY.
I'M TRYING TO GET PREGNANT.
WITH IAN?
OF COURSE.
WH-WHY THE RUSH?
WE WANT A BIG FAMILY,
AND I DON'T WANT TO BE A GRANDMA WHEN MY KIDS ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'VE NEVER ONCE HEARD YOU SAY YOU WANTED A BIG FAMILY.
WELL, WE'VE NEVER TALKED ABOUT IT, HAVE WE?
WHAT ABOUT WHARTON? YOU'VE WORKED SO HARD TO GET IN.
I'LL GET MY MBA, BUT...
I DON'T FEEL LIKE I NEED TO BE THE BEST AND THE FIRST ANYMORE.
ALL THOSE THINGS THAT USED TO MATTER JUST...
DON'T SEEM THAT IMPORTANT.
THOSE THINGS WERE EVERYTHING FOR YOU.
I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND.
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I WANTED EVERYTHING YOU WANT.
YOU WANTED THOSE THINGS LAST WEEK.
I'M HAPPY, SPENCER. I REALLY AM.
Okay.
SO GETTING PREGNANT IS YOUR IDEA,
NOT IAN'S?
YES.
DON'T YOU LOVE THE THOUGHT OF A LITTLE "MINI-ME"
OR "MINI IAN" RUNNING AROUND?
NOT REALLY. Ian: MELISSA!
I-I THOUGHT THIS WAS SOMETHING WE WERE GONNA KEEP PRIVATE.
I KNOW, BUT I JUST-- I LOOKED IN THE BAG BEFORE SHE COULD EVEN STOP ME.
I PROMISE, I WON'T TELL ANYONE.
TRUST ME, SPENCER CAN KEEP A SECRET.
YEAH, I KNOW SHE CAN.
( door closes )
HEY. WHEN DID YOU GET HOME?
UH, JUST NOW.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT?
I'M GOING TO COOK IT.
FOR DINNER?
YEP.
HANNA. MOM.
I KNOW WHEN YOU'RE BEING DISHONEST WITH ME
EVEN BEFORE YOU START TALKING.
YOU DO? UH-HUH.
SPILL IT.
WHERE DID THAT MONEY COME FROM?
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN I'M BEING DISHONEST WITH YOU BEFORE I EVEN START TALKING?
I'M WAITING.
MORE WINE?
HANNA.
WHAT DID YOU DO TO GET THIS MONEY?
I FOUND IT IN THE BATHROOM, AT LUCKY LEON'S.
REALLY?
REALLY.
AND IT DIDN'T OCCUR TO YOU TO TURN IT IN TO THE MANAGER?
NO, IT DIDN'T.
FIND A BETTER PLACE TO HIDE IT.
HEY, MOM. HM?
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN I'M LYING?
OH, I'M NOT GIVING THAT UP.
OH, COME ON. NOPE.
FINE. I'LL FIGURE IT OUT ON MY OWN.
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.
I AM STILL A VIRGIN.
I AM NOT A VIRGIN.
NO, I'LL JUST BORROW SOMETHING OF SPENCER'S.
YEAH, HER-- HER PARENTS ARE HERE. THEY KNOW I'M STAYING OVER.
OKAY. GOOD NIGHT, DAD.
OKAY, THAT I WON'T LET YOU DO.
WHAT?
LOOK AT ME LIKE...
THIS MIGHT BE THE LAST TIME YOU SEE ME.
MELISSA PREGNANT?
HEY, I SAID THIS WAS A SECRET.
NO, IT'S NOT A SECRET.
IT'S A BOMBSHELL, LIKE IN "NUKE-U-LAR."
IT'S "NUCLEAR."
"NUKE-LE-AR."
OKAY, WHATEVER. IT'S STILL A DISASTER MOVIE.
I KNOW.
CAN YOU IMAGINE MELISSA PREGNANT?
OR EVEN WORSE, MELISSA AS A MOM?
I'VE NEVER ONCE HEARD MELISSA TALK ABOUT KIDS.
NOW SHE WANTS TO HAVE THIS HUGE FAMILY?
HE'S TOTALLY MANIPULATING HER.
MANIPULATING HER?
SPENCE, YOUR SISTER'S A BAD-ASS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE GONNA FIND,
BUT I HAVE TO SEE WHAT'S INSIDE THOSE BOXES.
EMILY?
HEY.
I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SAY GOODBYE.
TO WHO?
MAYA.
EM, WHERE IS SHE GOING?
THEY'RE SENDING HER TO JUVIE CAMP,
FOR THREE MONTHS.
WHAT HAPPENED?
MY MOTHER.
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.
¶ BUT I'VE ¶
¶ NEVER FELT THIS FEEL ¶
¶ SO HEAVY ¶
¶ AND I'VE ¶
¶ NEVER FELT THIS FEEL ¶
¶ SO LOW ¶
¶ YEAH, IT ¶
¶ IS AWAKE INSIDE ¶
¶ MY WHOLE SOUL ¶
¶ BUT YOU ¶
¶ ARE MY STRENGTH ¶
¶ I WON'T STAND ALONE ¶
Man: STEP ASIDE, PLEASE.
Noel: SOMEBODY SET ME UP, OKAY?
YOU'LL HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS ONE, MR. KAHN.
YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME.
YOU STOLE THE ANSWERS TO THREE MIDTERMS, MR. KAHN.
I CAN'T IMAGINE EVER BELIEVING IN YOU AGAIN.
THIS IS REALLY UNACCEPTABLE,
AND I'M REALLY, REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.
( cell phone beeps )
( beep )
I DON'T KNOW WHO I'M MORE AFRAID OF--
"A" THE BITCH WHO TRIED TO FLATTEN HANNA,
OR "A" OUR NEW "FRIEN-EMY."
WHAT?
"A" SAVED MY RELATIONSHIP.
YEAH, WELL, "A" TRIED TO KILL ME.
BECAUSE "A" THOUGHT YOU SAW HER.
"A" CLEARLY KNOWS NOW THAT YOU DIDN'T.
SO, THE LAW OF COSINES IS AN EXTENSION OF
THE PYTHAGOREAN THEOREM TO THE ARBITRARY ANGLES...
UH, ENGLISH, PLEASE.
IT'S NICE TO SEE THE POSSE TOGETHER AGAIN.
THE POSSE?
THIS IS ME PLAYING NICE, ARIA.
SPENCER AND I HAVE CALLED A TRUCE.
OH, WELL, I'LL PLAY ALONG.
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE MARRIED?
IT FEELS LIKE...
I DON'T HAVE TO TRY SO HARD ALL THE TIME,
LIKE THINGS ARE SETTLED.
YEAH. THAT'S HOW MY MOM FELT BEFORE MY DAD MET ISABELLE.
( chuckles )
ONE THING I DON'T NEED TO WORRY ABOUT
IS IAN LOOKING AT OTHER WOMEN.
( sighs ) YOU READY, WIFE?
I AM, MY HANDSOME HUSBAND.
Ian: BYE.
WHAT?
THERE IS SOMETHING THAT I NEED TO SHOW YOU, IN MY ROOM.
WAIT, NO.
I THINK SHE SHOULD FIND IT HERSELF.
Hanna: I AGREE, BUT FIRST...
THERE.
NOW YOU CAN GO.
HM.
GO. GO.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONE!
I'M LEAVING IN THE MORNING.
I'M SO SORRY, MAYA.
THIS IS ALL MY FAULT.
DON'T SAY THAT. IT'S NOT TRUE.
I'VE LEFT YOU, LIKE, A HUNDRED MESSAGES.
AND WHEN YOU DIDN'T CALL ME BACK,
I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE MAD AT ME.
MY PARENTS BLOCKED MY PHONE.
HOW DID YOU GET HERE?
I'D SAY IT TOOK A VILLAGE...
AND A VERY TALL LADDER.
HEY.
LOOK AT THIS.
EVERYONE KEPT THAT.
Hanna: WHAT'S THIS?
YOU GUYS, LOOK. REALLY?
IT'S FINE. CREEPY.
( laughter )
YOU KNOW, I AM OFFICIALLY JEALOUS OF EMILY'S LOVE LIFE.
¶ LUANN, LUANN, LUANN ¶
¶ WASHING YOUR FEET ¶
¶ WASHING THEM OFF ¶
¶ LUANN, LUANN, LUANN ¶
¶ WASHING YOUR FEET ¶
¶ WASHING THEM OFF ¶
¶ BUT I NEED NO MONEY ¶
¶ I NEED NO WORDS TO UNDERSTAND ¶
¶ BUT I NEED YOUR LOVE ¶
¶ OOH ¶
WE'VE GOT COMIC BOOKS, MORE COMIC BOOKS,
AND... MORE COMIC BOOKS.
EVIDENCE OF GEEKDOM, BUT NOT A CRIME.
Maya: HEY.
THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH.
THANK YOU. OF COURSE.
YOU'LL BE BACK SOON.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU GUYS.
TONIGHT WAS THE BEST GIFT ANYONE COULD HAVE EVER GIVEN ME.
WHERE ARE THEY SENDING HER?
SOMEPLACE CALLED TRUE NORTH.
SERIOUSLY?
IS IT BAD?
THEY SENT BETSY BERGER THERE FOR HUFFING SPRAY PAINT.
SHE CAME BACK AS A DRUMMER IN A GOSPEL BAND.
MAYA'S AN AMAZING PERSON, EM.
SHE'S-- SHE'S GONNA BE FINE.
Yeah.
DID YOU GUYS FIND ANYTHING?
WE'VE LOOKED THROUGH EVERY BOX
AND FOUND A BIG, FAT NOTHING.
( cell phone beeps )
"DON'T SAY I NEVER GAVE YOU ANYTHING.
TURN ON YOUR COMPUTER. 'A.'"
IF THE GIRLS KNEW I WAS SEEING YOU,
OH, MY GOD, THEY'D NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT.
THIS IS THE VIDEO COOPER SHOWED US.
I WISH THEY WERE MORE MATURE, BUT...
WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME.
I HAVE TO GET BACK BEFORE THEY WAKE UP.
I KNOW YOU WANT TO KISS ME.
( all gasp )
OH, MY GOD!
COME CLOSER.
( Alison gasps )
( all gasp )
( thud )
( all gasp )
Girl: DO YOU SEE ANYTHING?
Girl #2: THAT BITCH IS FAST.
LET'S GO BACK.